Making Long Distance Work

Ask me a year ago if I would have considered being in a serious, long-distance relationship, I would have said fat chance. But here I am almost one year into it and rejoicing that the next time I see Seth, it won’t be accompanied by the dreaded goodbye. As we close this chapter on our long distance relationship, I am reflecting on how we made it here.

A (sort of) Routine

As with most couples, we spend time texting throughout the day as much as we can, but with work, and life in general, there can be hours that go by without speaking. We don’t have the luxury of being able to go home and chat about our day yet, but Seth can always count on a phone call from me when I’m done at work. We also try to squeeze in at least one FaceTime a week too; you wouldn’t believe what a difference it makes being able to see the person.

Communication

Duh. This is important in all relationships whether you are 3,800 km away from each other, or sleeping in the same bed every night. For us, this is literally all we have so we had to be good at it. Those quick phone calls or short texts to let your partner know that you’ll be busy for awhile go a long way in helping to maintain your trust and communication (I really had to learn this). You have to be completely transparent with your feelings in a long distance relationship because you don’t have your body language to speak for you. Plus it makes everything so much easier and enjoyable when you know you have said everything you need to say and found a way to work it out.

An End Point

Fairly early on we talked about who was going to move and thankfully I didn’t really have to put up a fight to resist moving to Indiana. This is more of a personal point for me in the success of our LDR. I know couples who are doing long distance and moving hasn’t been a serious discussion yet and they make it work just fine. At the point in my life that we met, my time was valuable and I didn’t want to feel like I was wasting it in a relationship that would never end up with us living in the same area.

Timing

It really is everything. Seth and I talk about this a lot and we were happy we met at a time in both of our lives where we had spent quite a few years being single, experiencing different things, and focussing on ourselves. Neither of us was going to compromise all the self-work we had done (and we certainly weren’t going to throw in the complication of long distance) for someone who wasn’t right for us.

We are so excited to say goodbye to navigating time differences, texting, FaceTime, and welcome the inevitable new challenge of cohabitation with open arms!

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